Raced downstairs early this morning to answer the phone. Interestingly the incoming number was 0123456789. Watch out for that!
It turned out, it was my old Asian friend ringing from Microsoft to inform me that my computer was yet again, infected by some virus or other that was gonna wipe out my whole life, kill some cute, cuddly kittens and deplete the worlds wine supply. That got my attention!
I had to act fast. While I was fumbling about for my credit card details to pass on to this kindly gent, I decided to have a little fun.
“Can I have two Chicken Jalfreezi, a Lamb Vindaloo and some Poppodoms”, (also known as Pompadoms in our house) I enquired.
Unfazed, my caller friend continued to alert me to the terrible consequences awaiting me, if I delayed pushing the right “Alt” key. Apparently I could lose all my personal banking details! The irony was not lost on me! 🙂
“Do ye deliver to Castlebar?”, I enquired. “Oh, and Naan bread … I want two Nanns as well”.
At this stage, the caller asked that I stay on the line as he referred me to a senior colleague. My goodness, perhaps I would get to speak to the chef! Maybe, I could get him to prepare my Vindaloo with extra ginger. Mmmmm … extra ginger.
Again, I rattled off my order to this new caller “two Chicken Jalfreezi, a Lamb Vindaloo and some Poppodoms … oh and the naans … don’t forget the naans” but alas, he too insisted on calling my attention to the right “Alt” key and predicting dire consequences due to this virus on my PC.
At this stage, I was getting a tad annoyed – I was hungry and I never had a reason before to use the “Alt” key, let alone the right “Alt” key.
Eventually, after continually refusing to take my order, I called his bluff and asked if anyone ever did fall for this scam. He assured me it was no scam and continued his predictions of armageddon if I failed to press the right “Alt” key.
Then I told him I was a computer technician and that I knew there was no virus on my computer and that he was a scammer.
He then told me to “F**k off, man” and promptly hung up. Well, that makes a change – it’s usually me that tells them to f**k off!
So, there are a few lessons to be learned from this:
1. Be aware of this scam.
2. Always ask for extra ginger in your vindaloo.
3. Whatever you do, don’t press the f**king right “Alt” key.
Filed under “Rainy day humour”